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Feb. 26th, 2009

I'm glad to see everyone everyone happy. <3

I wish I wasn't miserable, I make myself miserable, it kind of sucks.
We are going to 
each other.

Dec. 13th, 2008

My power has been out for three fucking days
I just got it back
I didn't have running water unlike most of Hampton.
but I realized
I was a lot happier with out power.

I don't know what to do anymore.
I've come to realize that everyone in this world is hard to trust.  I can't fully trust anyone.  Well, aside from one person.  I could rip out my heart and soul and give it to them in a gold box covered with diamonds and know that every bit of that package is safe.  I feel at peace with them and safe.  I never figured myself to be safe with another human being.  I no longer crave the future, I no longer desire for success in this devilish world.  All I need is you and all I'll ever want is you.  You were the missing piece in my life.  Everyone and everything else was just an awkward piece that ever exactly went in place.  Please believe me when I say this, I've never been so sure of anything.  You read me like an open book.  You know me better than I know myself.  I know deep in my core that you are my soul mate.  I loose my mind over you and you make me insane but I love it.  I love it.  Your passion to music and love hypnotizes me and amazes me to no end.  You are a genuine honest soul and you don't deserve the bullshit you go through.  I love you.  I'm in love with you.  I'm lost in you.

I think I've found my nirvana.
Omg no sleep ever.
I'm so fucking sick.
I can't even keep down water.
Idk what to do
Last night I had a pair of boxers on that I put on inside out and I was too weak to fix them.

help meeeeeee I'm begging you.

The past few days have been complete hell.
Complete. Hell.

I need a break from life.


Prom rant... and basically WHY I wouldn't go.  Yeah.

First off...
It's too god damn expensive.  Do you really expect me to pull up to 300 dollars out of my ass?  No.  I didn't think so.  And apparently, because of that, I'm going to be magically dubbed socially retarded because I didn't go to a once in a life time event!  Once in a life time event, excuse me?  NO.  It's an expensive dance... that's all.  After parties you say?  If I really want to get shit-faced I'd go and find myself a place to get shit-faced.  but I don't.  The experience?  God damn it people, I experienced way more last night than I ever would going to this... prom.

.... and between the large amount of people there, most of which I can't fucking stand, the dress, the music, and the general fucking idiocy that would go on I would have most definitely killed myself by the end of the night.

and if you fucking DARE tell me that the only reason I didn't go to prom was because Randy didn't want to go, I'll fucking kick your ass.  If I truly wanted to go I would have asked someone else or have gone by myself.  Me and him both share the same idea on why we didn't go to prom and why we don't like it.

God damn it, I can't wait for the next couple of days to be over.  I'm so sick of you people.

Tales from the forest of Gnomes

I don't feel well right now.

The past month has been... I don't know, different.
Sex doesn't hurt anymore!  keke.
No one cared to know that...

Apparently Leon tried killing himself, downed a bottle of Advil... I feel bad, but he's fine now.  I feel guilted into staying his friend, but things have been.. better.


Randy and I have been sweeellll.  Very well, actually.  I'm surprised at my own tolerance level for him.  I used to get annoyed with people I hung around too much but I'm never annoyed with him.

We talked about our situations after high school.  Of course, this is just talk.  No commitment but Randy wants to live with Lance and Cody after high school in some apartment and I was saying how I'm either going to stay in a dorm when and if I go to school or if I'm in a community college and staying at home I'll just keep at home.  That seemed to get his attention and he was like "NO, you'd live with me."  and I tried explaining how... if I move out... I don't think I want to live with all guys and he seemed to get really offended.
I try to stay down to earth with this kind of thinking, you know, the whole... Well, the chances of us staying together forever are very slim... I'm too young to worry about moving out...  kind of things, but it's hard not to get my hopes up.  It's exciting.

I'm doing well in school, so very proud of myself :o Besides geometry... and apparently gym.  I have a bad attitude or something... I do not... I'm just witty and angry.  That's all :D
and I punched a kid in the ribs in that class.  I'm not a nice person. <3

Work starts soon!  I almost quit Beach Crew to work at York's Wild Kingdom... but Beach Crew is too nice of a job to pass up.  I /think/ I might work at cafe fresco too if they're hiring so I won't go completely jobless when school starts again.

I'm bouncy and excited fo' life. plz
Can't we all just CUT BACK ON THE FUCKING DRAMA?  Holy flying fucking fuck.